drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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