Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
