I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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