I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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