I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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