Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
