I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
