You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
