You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
