Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
