Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
