like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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