barbara walters just said penis...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
