ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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