The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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