we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
