It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
