Someone shit on the floor
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
