Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
