Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
