I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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