My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Can I color on your dick again?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
