the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
