Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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