GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
