Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
