Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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