it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Do you remember whose house we're in?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
