I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
