I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
