Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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