I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
