you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Bring me that man meat
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
