her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
