Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
