no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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