mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
