I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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