in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The adults are the big ones right?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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