You work out of a Hotel?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
