I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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