I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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