Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
