why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
