South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
