I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
