So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
