I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
