Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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