Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Too much gin, very little bucket
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
