We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
