Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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