i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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