Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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