it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
