Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
