I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
