She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
