Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
