i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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